Those looking for another comprehensive, hard-hitting bit of incredibly lucid wine writing, so pervasive across the Internet these days: turn away.

Paperboy Red Blend, Paso Robles, GreenBottle
You’ve been warned. Touch this bottle and you may find yourself one step closer to drinking from a box.

If you’re like me you’ve come to terms with the screwcap. If only partially–for Sauvignon Blancs, but never, ever Cabernets, my friends! And boxed wine? Well, uh, no way Jose. Now comes the latest oenophile’s psychological hurdle: wine bottles made out of … paper.

Apparently, British company¬†GreenBottle has come up with the cockneyed idea of making a wine bottle out of paper. Because that’s exactly what we’ve been demanding all this time! What next? A show about cars featuring three mid-aged crackpots interviewing mid-aged celebrities?!

I dug deeper, hard ball style, into the story.

Turns out, yes, there is paper involved. But there’s also an “ultra-thin” liner made of plastic. Hmmm, doesn’t that slightly defeat the eco-friendly premise?

The company has partnered with Truett-Hurst. The wine, a 2012 red blend from Paso Robles, that comes GreenBottle style is called “Paperboy.” It can be found at Safeway stores.

ALSO SEE: Millennial Trendspotting: Is Wine Really Just for Special Occasions?

Apparently these bottles tip in at just 1/7th the weight of a normal–gauche–bottle of wine. Fine. It’ll take me 7x more bottles to max out my Prius’ wine towing capacity.

I can’t help but think this is some sort of subversive conspiracy backed by the boxed wine industry. First you drink from paper bottles with “ultra-thin” plastic liners. Next thing you know…

I’ll be scouting Paperboy out at Safeway, and will report back soon if I’m lucky in my quest. I’m always game for innovative new ways to package consumer products, including wines (Ehlers 1886), phones (Moto X) and cars (Tesla).

Clinton Stark
Clinton shoots videos for Stark Insider. San Francisco Bay Area arts, Ingmar Bergman and French New Wave, and chasing the perfect home espresso shot 25 seconds at a time (and failing). Peloton: ClintTheMint. Camera: Video Gear