Mamma Mia! I’m the spouse of a woman on a “diet”!

Two things concerned me this week. The first was Loni’s Isagenix diet program. It’s one thing when two people go on a diet together, but a whole other story when just one does. More on that in a sec. 

My second concern was the inevitable viewing of Mamma Mia. I knew it would happen sooner or later. And tonight is that night, when we will queue up that most danceable, happy time movie. I cringe at the thought of sitting through almost two hours of watching Pierce Brosnan sing. What other post-Bond actor would ever do that? I can’t picture Daniel Craig doing a remake of, say, Dancing in the Rain.

So what about Loni and her New Year’s resolution to get back into fighting shape. Not that she really needs it. But that’s Loni!

I thought I’d share — misery loves company — what’s it been like to be the spouse of someone on such a challenge. Woh is me. Ok, maybe not. After all, I don’t think I could ever “cleanse” for two days on food even astronauts would disapprove of. Little pills. Foul tasting powder drinks. And plenty of plain old water. Yes, I have to hand it her for stepping up to the plate.

I do notice that short fuses and lack of food tend to go hand-in-hand.

As do sudden, interesting outbursts of drama. A chance bump in the kitchen by the fridge as we both grab a snack, for example, would pre-diet be an opportunity for a charming hug (the things I do). But now it’s Loni, middle linebacker. Clint ditched to the side. “I need my eggs!”.

Meaningful conversation is replaced many times with glassy eyed stares. “I’m too tired, and I haven’t eaten in days!”. 

Coincidentally as Loni’s system is apparently cleansed, her brain neurons seems to have become somehow supercharged, like when George in Seinfeld abstained from sex, resulting in increased intelligence. Before I’ve had my first espresso, she’s prepped tax documents. Blogged. Created a PowerPoint for work. Cleaned the office. Reviewed invoices. Planted a tree. And called her mother.

Other times during the day though, it’s hibernation. What better way to fight hunger, than to sleep through it? I like it. Time for some sports on TV. Quiet time to catch up on my to-dos. And a reminder myself to never, ever do anything like Isagenix. My diet of Diet Coke, candy hearts and two glasses of red wine works just fine.

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  • Loni Kao Stark

    You should learn better then stand between a woman and her only meal of the day.<br />
    <br />
    I did catch you toe-tapping and swaying to the Mamma Mia movie. I'll admit, I winced every time Pearce Brosnan sang. Like him better as Bond and Remmington Steele.<br />
    <br />
    Thanks for putting up with me this week, you've just saved all my colleagues next week from my diet-induced tirade.

  • Loni Kao Stark

    You should learn better then stand between a woman and her only meal of the day.

    I did catch you toe-tapping and swaying to the Mamma Mia movie. I’ll admit, I winced every time Pearce Brosnan sang. Like him better as Bond and Remmington Steele.

    Thanks for putting up with me this week, you’ve just saved all my colleagues next week from my diet-induced tirade.

  • Loni Kao Stark

    You should learn better then stand between a woman and her only meal of the day.

    I did catch you toe-tapping and swaying to the Mamma Mia movie. I’ll admit, I winced every time Pearce Brosnan sang. Like him better as Bond and Remmington Steele.

    Thanks for putting up with me this week, you’ve just saved all my colleagues next week from my diet-induced tirade.

  • Jane Lurie

    OK Clint. Our first generational difference. We loved Mamma Mia. We are not vested in Pierce Brosnan as Bond or even as a talented singer. We just loved all those people of that generation (ours more or less) dancing, singing and having fun. And prepare yourself with a pile of excuses, we now own the sing along version of Mamma Mia. One night when you least expect it in Loreto, you could find yourself, much to your horror, in the middle of a Dancing Queen production number. You have been warned….<br />
    Jane and Sharon

  • Jane Lurie

    OK Clint. Our first generational difference. We loved Mamma Mia. We are not vested in Pierce Brosnan as Bond or even as a talented singer. We just loved all those people of that generation (ours more or less) dancing, singing and having fun. And prepare yourself with a pile of excuses, we now own the sing along version of Mamma Mia. One night when you least expect it in Loreto, you could find yourself, much to your horror, in the middle of a Dancing Queen production number. You have been warned….
    Jane and Sharon

  • Jane Lurie

    OK Clint. Our first generational difference. We loved Mamma Mia. We are not vested in Pierce Brosnan as Bond or even as a talented singer. We just loved all those people of that generation (ours more or less) dancing, singing and having fun. And prepare yourself with a pile of excuses, we now own the sing along version of Mamma Mia. One night when you least expect it in Loreto, you could find yourself, much to your horror, in the middle of a Dancing Queen production number. You have been warned….
    Jane and Sharon